Written: August 10, 2011

When it’s over

Have you ever just sat down next to your partner and known that the relationship is over? Where you have tried everything humanly possible to make it work but it’s just not coagulating—just not coming together. Well, I have a solution for you: RUN, run and don’t look back. Real talk. I’m not saying you shouldn't try work it out-but there has to be a point when you say enough is enough and move on.

Don't you have that friend that is always complaining about their partner? To the point that when they mention his/her name you immediately change the topic or make up some lame-ass excuse that doesn’t make sense, “I have to go home my mum asked me to wash the dog…”- and you know you don't own no goddamn dog…smh!!! It is annoying. I cannot stand people who complain about something and yet there are unwilling to take any action. This does not just pertain to relationships only, for example; there are people who complain every single day about how bad their job is but they are not taking any steps towards trying to find another or somehow rectifying their situation. When a situation like that arises, I immediately assume the person is satisfied with being unhappy and hence I cannot continue to be friends with them because I don’t like unhappy people-it’s contagious.

Then there are some ladies in abusive relationships but don't want to leave. They keep making excuses for the guy: “He does it ‘cause he loves me.” “It is my fault, I made him mad.”—That last one is real popular. Firstly, any man that feels the need to rearrange your face DOES NOT LOVE YOU. Do not believe him when he says he does. I swear on my left toe if love costs a black eye every other day then it is way too expensive for me, I will do without it. We really need to learn to set boundaries and learn when enough is enough; there needs to be a line that cannot be crossed, no exceptions. A lot of people assert that it takes being in the situation to know for sure what action you will take, but I cannot fathom how anyone can stay with a man (or woman) who beats them constantly.  Really, it is beyond my realm of understanding. Someone help me out here.

Anyway, back to what I was initially talking about. When it is over… How do you know when it is over? Just like you know when you are in love the same follows, you just know… There is no script you can read or anything of the sort. You just know. Listen to me ladies or guys or whoever is reading this blog; never hold on to something that is clearly not working because you may be overlooking something else that could make you much happier. Trust me I almost lost a chance with someone who turned out to be the most important thing in my life because I was too scared to let go. Yes, I was willing to put aside any chances of being happy hanging on to something that had long surpassed its expiry date. That doesn't even make sense does it? It does to me.

Moral of the story when everything your partner does starts to bother the hell out of you. Even things that never seemed to bother you before start bothering you; that is sign. It can even be insignificant things. At one point in a past relationship I started having a problem with the way the guy walked-he walked like a pregnant penguin and every time he walked towards me I felt like I was in Happy Feet. This was not something I had a problem with before. Even the way he chewed started to annoy me—everything. Most times it is not as obvious as that, that guy I was with was just genuinely annoying. We just need to learn to let go at times.

1 YEAAARRR

Anniversary

This post is dedicated to me. It has been exactly a year since I started this blog and I am ashamed that I have less than ten posts. I would love to thank everyone who has taken their time to read some of my posts; I truly appreciate it. Most of my posts are just rants and me speaking my mind. I started this post last year because I needed to de-stress and I felt like writing was the best forum for that.

            I was in a bad place when I started this last year, but now my life is great. I have never been happier. I have learned to appreciate the things and the people I have in my life and it is the best feeling EVERRRRRR!!!!

            Anyway, I will try to finish some of the posts I started but somehow lost the motivation mid-post. 

Just BS-ing

ANGRY RANT

To be honest with you, this is JUST an angry rant. A friend of mine just got angry at me because I called his/her “bestfriend” a ‘hoe’. (I would like to point out that I didn't necessarily call them one but for the sake of this post let’s just assume I did). Granted, I would also defend my friend too if someone called them a hoe but I feel as though this particular persons reasons were not justified. This person said to me, “you don’t know the girl well enough to call her a hoe”. I started fuming, I was like,  “I don’t need to know her personally to know that she has been around--she is what they call back home; a village bicycle (because everyone gets a ride). I do not know prostitutes personally but I KNOW they are prostitutes. They might be very nice people, but the fact is they are prostitutes.” I agree I do not know the girl so I cannot judge her personality, but if her actions do fulfill the minimal requirements for hoe-manship then guess what?? Yup she is hoe. She might have a very nice personality BUT that does not change the fact that her p*&^y looser than the change in my wallet.

That being said, in this case I had no right to call the girl a hoe though. Matter of fact as previously stated, I didn’t really, but that is beside the point.

The point of this article is to tackle the issue of listening to rumors. Let’s say you have never seen someone act in a particular way, for example you have never seen them with anyone but you hear of the stuff the person does. Can you conclude (not judge) that the person is a particular way because of what you have heard they have done? This does not just include sleeping around and sexual acts. For example, I did not see Casey Anthony kill her baby nor did she get convicted BUT I will be damned if I ever let her babysit my (future) children. Isn’t that similar to not dating someone you have not witnessed or caught in action sleeping around but you have heard, from reliable sources, that they do? I mean, like I said the person might have the BEST personality ever but that does not change the fact that they did or do the things they do. For all we know Casey Anthony is a sweetheart but she is still a baby killer (convicted or not). It is only natural and humanly to judge people on what you hear about them. This does not mean it is right but it does tend to happen.

Personally, I believe that people act a certain way because of what they have experienced in their lives. That person you call a hoe might have a heartbreaking story behind her actions that may change your opinion on her. I believe that people tend to act like ‘hoes’ because they haven’t yet met that one person they feel deserves better. In other words just because someone has a bad history of playing people does not necessarily mean they are going to play you too. Every single relationship is a gamble and anyone can hurt you. Just like gambling sometimes the play with the lowest odds may make you the most money. Think of the lottery, chances are you will not win it, but that slight, miniscule possibility of winning makes the ticket worth buying. For that reason it does not make sense to rule out someone because you have heard they have been ‘around’. Take a chance date a hoe; it may be the best decision you have ever made.