Written: August 10, 2011

When it’s over

Have you ever just sat down next to your partner and known that the relationship is over? Where you have tried everything humanly possible to make it work but it’s just not coagulating—just not coming together. Well, I have a solution for you: RUN, run and don’t look back. Real talk. I’m not saying you shouldn't try work it out-but there has to be a point when you say enough is enough and move on.

Don't you have that friend that is always complaining about their partner? To the point that when they mention his/her name you immediately change the topic or make up some lame-ass excuse that doesn’t make sense, “I have to go home my mum asked me to wash the dog…”- and you know you don't own no goddamn dog…smh!!! It is annoying. I cannot stand people who complain about something and yet there are unwilling to take any action. This does not just pertain to relationships only, for example; there are people who complain every single day about how bad their job is but they are not taking any steps towards trying to find another or somehow rectifying their situation. When a situation like that arises, I immediately assume the person is satisfied with being unhappy and hence I cannot continue to be friends with them because I don’t like unhappy people-it’s contagious.

Then there are some ladies in abusive relationships but don't want to leave. They keep making excuses for the guy: “He does it ‘cause he loves me.” “It is my fault, I made him mad.”—That last one is real popular. Firstly, any man that feels the need to rearrange your face DOES NOT LOVE YOU. Do not believe him when he says he does. I swear on my left toe if love costs a black eye every other day then it is way too expensive for me, I will do without it. We really need to learn to set boundaries and learn when enough is enough; there needs to be a line that cannot be crossed, no exceptions. A lot of people assert that it takes being in the situation to know for sure what action you will take, but I cannot fathom how anyone can stay with a man (or woman) who beats them constantly.  Really, it is beyond my realm of understanding. Someone help me out here.

Anyway, back to what I was initially talking about. When it is over… How do you know when it is over? Just like you know when you are in love the same follows, you just know… There is no script you can read or anything of the sort. You just know. Listen to me ladies or guys or whoever is reading this blog; never hold on to something that is clearly not working because you may be overlooking something else that could make you much happier. Trust me I almost lost a chance with someone who turned out to be the most important thing in my life because I was too scared to let go. Yes, I was willing to put aside any chances of being happy hanging on to something that had long surpassed its expiry date. That doesn't even make sense does it? It does to me.

Moral of the story when everything your partner does starts to bother the hell out of you. Even things that never seemed to bother you before start bothering you; that is sign. It can even be insignificant things. At one point in a past relationship I started having a problem with the way the guy walked-he walked like a pregnant penguin and every time he walked towards me I felt like I was in Happy Feet. This was not something I had a problem with before. Even the way he chewed started to annoy me—everything. Most times it is not as obvious as that, that guy I was with was just genuinely annoying. We just need to learn to let go at times.